He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
