I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Drunk is a universal language darling
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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