The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
