I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Randomize
