Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
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