I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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