His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
