What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
