Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
