Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
