Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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