Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
