just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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