i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I just forgot I was standing up.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize