She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
