Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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