i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
He did a backflip because drugs
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