im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize