Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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