I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Randomize
