wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
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