he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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