he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
