Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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