I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
