that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
where does the pee come out of this thing
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
