Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
