it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
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