Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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