I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
