During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
