Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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