ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
