everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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