honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize
