Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
