nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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