Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
