im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
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