I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Randomize
