and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
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