so explain again why im purple
no
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
