until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
