I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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