Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
