i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Randomize
