at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
