Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Randomize
