Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
