i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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