The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize
