i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
It's never too late to be topless.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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