Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(734): View more from Michigan

You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.

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(706): View more from Georgia

hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.

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(847): View more from Illinois

Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight

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(816): View more from Missouri

I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.

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(551): View more from New Jersey

She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does

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(443): View more from Maryland

you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went

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(209): View more from California

You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.

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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have

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(630): View more from Illinois

I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.

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