wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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