we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
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