I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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