Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
