There is no way he is gay with that hair.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Randomize
