Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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